Installment number 16 34,141

Over the next couple of days Jennie and Amy paid much closer attention to when and where they would see their ‘shadows’. And they also started acting just a tad more nervous about them being there. They glanced over their shoulders much more often, walked a little faster, never stopped to talk or to window shop but went straight to their intended destination. They were visibly more worried about the shadows. It was noted where these guys stood while watching the girls and other details.

They played it as far as they could and the guys following them were getting bolder. Which was exactly what the girls were working towards. They wanted the shadows to get careless, to pay more attention to their quarry and less attention to Their surroundings. After three days of this, the good guys stepped in, secretly, two of them stationed themselves at an advantageous position by Amy’s house and the other two did the same thing at Jennie’s. The mom’s were in the houses surreptitiously watching out the window and poised to call the police.

Amy was walking home, looking frequently over her shoulder. She didn’t have to pretend to be nervous, she really was. This could go horribly wrong, someone could get hurt. What if the guys couldn’t catch him? He would still be out there in a position to continue following her or maybe even worse. The thought that this could be one of the men who had attacked her had crossed her mind at one point, but she dismissed it as nonsense. If those men had wanted to do anything else to her they would have shown up a lot sooner. She didn’t realize that this sort of rationalization was a way of protecting her psyche from harm, if she had looked at it logically then she would have realized that her argument contained a flaw. The men could have just found her. It could have taken this long to track her down. But she didn’t and so she went on blithely with their great plan.

They way they had mapped this out, the two girls would be getting to their respective houses at approximately the same time. It didn’t make sense to any of them that the two stalkers were working alone, they had to be a team, so they wanted to be on the same schedule at both places. And as it turned out, they timed it almost perfect.

As Amy was walking into her yard, Brad and Rich bopped out of their hiding places and caught the arms of the stalker. He struggled, trying desperately to free himself, but the two men were more than a match for him.

At Jennie’s house it was the same story. Jennie walked up on her porch and heard the commotion beside the house that signaled the capture of her stalker. He also tried his best to fight his way free, but they pinned his arms and held fast, as they guided him, none to gently, into the house.

At Amy’s house the men wrestled the stalker up to the porch where Wanda had just turned the light on and for the first time Brad got a good look at the young man he was holding. And he almost let go from the shock. “CARL?” He exclaimed “What? How? I mean, what is this all about young man?” Carl just looked at Brad with a mulish expression. He didn’t say a word while they frog marched him into the house.

Meanwhile, back at Jennie’s Bob and Jon were trying to get their young man to talk. He seemed to have no inclination to explain and they were getting a little frustrated with him.

Edna was a bit confused by his refusal to speak to them. He should have been either telling them to go jump in a lake or trying to explain away his actions as something totally innocent. This stubborn silence was condemning all on it’s own.

Wanda got on the phone to Edna and asked what was happening over there. When she was told about their capture and subsequent silence, she told her about Brad knowing this person and that they needed to get the boys together in the same room and see if that would get them to explain this irrational behavior. Edna told her that they would be coming right over and to have the door open so that the neighbors didn’t wonder what was going on over there. Then the three adults hustled the young man out to the car and drove over to the Johnson’s house.

Rich had basically told Brad to stay out of the way and not say anything to Carl. He didn’t want Brad to do anything silly and he had a feeling that he would, knowing how much Brad cared for Amy. “Let’s wait until the others get here Brad, before we do anything. I want the boys to see each other, but I don’t want them to talk to the other, I want to get them to give us their stories in their own words.” “Alright, but I don’t like it, I want to know just What they thought they were doing!” Brad said through clenched teeth.

It only took a few minutes for the three to get there, and when they walked thru the door and Brad saw who it was he was stunned. He sort of walked backwards until his knees hit the edge of a chair and just plopped down in it and stared. He went from angry to confused to down right unbelieving. “Was this supposed to be some sort of joke?” He roared all of a sudden jumping to his feet and advancing on Dwayne. Dwayne tried to shrink away, but the men had not let him go yet, so all he could do was shake his head no and stammered the word in a shaking voice. Carl opened his mouth to say something but Rich quickly placed his hand in front of his face and told him to hush, Brad wasn’t talking to him, yet.

They took Carl into the living room while they seated Dwayne in a chair at the table. Neither boy was giving them any trouble at this point, most likely realizing, no doubt, that the jig was up and there was no point in trying to run.

Brad stood in front of Dwayne with his hands on his hips and tapping his foot. “Ok. Now, I want some answers and I want them NOW.” He said “What is the meaning of this ‘stalking’ crap?” Dwayne looked up at him warily, acting as if her were too afraid to answer and then he squared his shoulders and sat up straight and said “Sensei It was just plain wrong what you did!” Brad’s face was confused, “What?” “You shouldn’t have taken them into the dojo, they are GIRLS Sensei! Girls aren’t supposed to fight. We were only trying to scare them off, so that you could get back to teaching us guys.” Brad took a few minutes to digest this outrageous statement and then started to slowly shake his head. “Rich” he called, “Bring Carl back in here.” The men brought Carl in and sat him on the opposite side of the table where he leaned back in his chair and stared a bit apprehensively at Brad. The same look that Dwayne had had on his face just moments before. “Boys” Brad started quietly “I think that you need to try to understand something. I am a Sensei, I WAS your Sensei. I choose who I teach for what ever reasons I chose to teach them. I do not base my decision on what sex they are or where they come from or what they believe. I pick my students in ways that you might never understand, but one of those ways is if they need what I have to teach. Does that make any sense to you?” Hesitantly both boys nodded “Good. I’m glad that you are getting the concept. I decided to teach Jennie and Amy because they needed to learn to defend themselves against people like YOU! Now I think that you need to start at the beginning and try to explain to me just what it was that you had hoped to accomplish with this idiotic plan of yours.” Slowly Carl started talking, “Well you see Sensei” Brad interrupted furiously “I am NO LONGER your Sensei! You will address me as Sir or you no honorific at all before you call me Sensei again.” “Y-yee-ss Sir” Carl stammered and then began again. “We kinda thought that if we scared the girls then they would go away and not come back. We weren’t planning on hurting them or anything” he said in a rush, not wanting Brad to get the wrong idea. “we were just trying to scare them off. Honest. But it didn’t seem to be working, they just don’t scare that easily.” He sounded a little disappointed when he said that, it almost made Brad smile, his ‘girls didn’t scare that easily’ he thought. “You do realize that the police would take a very dim view of your actions, don’t you?” Dwayne and Carl looked at each other with worried faces “Police?” said Dwayne “We didn’t do anything wrong Sense, er, I mean Sir. All we did was walk along behind them a few times, there’s no law against that” “Oh, I think that they would indeed see it as a crime if it were explained to them the right way. What you did was a form of intimidation, which is generally seen as a threat. In other words, you were threatening these young women an a regular basis. Do you see how that might seem to an Officer?” Again the boys looked at each other and their faces paled noticeably “I don’t want to call in the law” said Brad quietly “so what I want from you two are apologies to both of the these young women from both of you and your assurance that nothing like this will ever happen again. And I’ll be honest with you, I will be speaking to your parents when we take you home, they need to know that they will have to keep a closer eye on their children.” Slowly, with their faces flushing pink with emotion, Carl and Dwayne turned to Amy and Jennie and mumbled their apologies. “And now, let’s go get in the car, Jon and I are taking you two home.” Brad told them “I do NOT want to ever see you around these young women again, do you understand me?” they both said Yes and stood with their heads down. As Brad lead the boys out to his car Jon turned to the others and said, “I am so glad that this turned out as well as it did, but in the future Ladies, if you Ever feel as if someone is following you or threatening you in ANY WAY you had better tell someone. No one will think you are Crazy” he said looking at Amy, “and Jennie you cannot ignore things like this, people do bad things, as we all know, and even with all your lessons, you could not positively walk away from a fight unharmed. Promise me?” They both nodded. Satisfied Jon said his good-nights and followed Brad out to his car.

When Brad and Jon dropped the boys off, they had a long serious talk with the parents, and they were not too happy with their kids. Brad made it clear to them all that the boys were not welcome in his dojo any more, with the exception of coming in to pick up their gear. The parents understood and agreed with that decision.

As Brad was driving Jon home he remarked, “I find it so hard to believe that those two honestly thought that this was the right course to take. Why didn’t they just come and talk to me?” “They knew in their hearts that their reasons for wanting those ladies out of the dojo had nothing at all to do with them being female and everything to do with their jealousy. The girls had all of your attention, and they were used to being the center of the dojo universe.” Answered Jon. “I am not saying that this is your fault Brad, because it isn’t, but I am saying that you might want to pay just a tad closer attention to your students in the future and maybe we can stop this from happening again. After all” he quipped “Isn’t prevention the Real name of the self defense game?” Brad had to laugh “I love how you can take a bad situation and put such a positive slant on it in just a few words Jon, Thanks for all your help tonight, it was noticed” Jon nodded and simply said “You are very welcome my friend.”

CCC #22 and All Things Tim and Simon Says Stamp and Show

Whew, what a looonnggg title. lol

First let me say "I am Sorry" I have simply not had the time to go to all of your blogs this week, I probably will be able to try to catch up by this coming weekend, but I feel terrible. Please forgive me.

This card is made to enter into the three challenges listed below, but the Main one would have to be Linda's at Studio L3, no slight to the others, but Linda is the one who got me started on this path of challenges and I think she deserves a big hug. Thanks Linda!!!

Now, this is a technique you will find in the Tim Holtz book "Compendium of Curiosities" page 52. I cannot give you the how to for this out of fairness to Tim. You can pick up his book HERE and play along with us!

I used about 7 different AI's for this as well as the metal mixative. Then I stamped with some dollar stamps from Michaels and topped it off with some stuff from my Christmas card making box.


And that's it...pretty kewl technique and super easy to do. But please be sure it is totally dry prior to stamping, I now have one stamp with a beautiful bronze patina lol


Studio L3
Simon Says Stamp and Show
Tims book
All Things T!m

Installment number 15 31973

It was not all sweetness and light at the dojo. There was a little bit of contention from a couple of the guys, Carl and Dwayne. They were not really very happy that Sensei had taken on a couple of girls. They didn’t want to say anything to Sensei, that would not be a very respectful thing to do, but they didn’t want them here. This was a dojo, not a beauty parlor! It didn’t help that they were pretty good. Not great, but still, for girls they did a decent job. But it was the principle of the thing. They really should have said something when Sensei was first talking to that one girl, Jennie? Yeah, they should have, but…and now it was too late. At first they didn’t think they had to say anything at all, because they knew that they wouldn’t be able to handle it. But they were wrong. So they were working on ways to ‘convince’ the ladies not to come in any more. They were not overtly nasty, but things kept happening. Little things, like one sparring glove coming up missing, or a stain showing up on a gi that was left at the dojo. Nothing that could be traced back to them. Just little things. And they were expecially careful not to let Sensei see them do anything. When those things didn’t get the girls to quit, they started following them. One of them would stay back a ways from one of the girls, but not so far back that they couldn’t be seen. They WANTED them to know they were being followed. They didn’t do anything, just followed them.

Amy was having a little problem with someone following her. She hadn’t said anything to anyone about it because she thought they would see her as just being paranoid. But she knew someone was back there, and it was scaring her. At first she thought she was a bit crazy, why in the world would anyone follow her? She wasn’t the type of person that something like that would happen to, she wasn’t a celebrity or anything. She tried to forget about it, to make the idea vanish. When she kept seeing a shadowy form behind her at odd times, she couldn’t ignore it any longer. Still, she didn’t want to go crying wolf to her friends, so she did the next best thing. She asked Brad to show her some moves specific to an attacker from behind. If this guy came after her she wanted to be ready. She reasoned that the person that was following her must want her to know he was there, and she wanted to make sure that she was prepared if he did anything at all. Brad didn’t ask any questions, he showed her a couple of moves for getting out of choke holds from behind, and some really cool ways to hit someone who was holding you up in the air. She had never known that an elbow could make such a versatile weapon! One of the things they worked on was actually doing these moves. Not sparring exactly, but more like acting out the scenes. He would come up behind her and she would have to get away. She was very careful not to actually hit him or anything like that, but it did help to have a sense of what it would be like to use a move she had learned. She filed that feeling away for future reference. After they had them worked out, they asked Jennie to come over and showed them to her. She was starting cold and the reasoning was that if she could pick them up easily then so could any of their, soon to be, students.

Jennie was aware that there was someone following her, and it did make her a little nervous, but unlike Amy, she wasn’t too worried about him or her. She was pretty sure it was a guy, and she was pretty sure that this person was just trying to scare her. She couldn’t have told anyone exactly Why she felt like this, but it was a very strong feeling. In the end she would most likely talk to Brad and Amy about it, just because it was an oddity, but for now, she was going to keep an eye on this ‘shadow’ but not do anything about him.

This plan of theirs wasn’t moving very fast. They hadn’t really gotten the logistics down yet. Jennie had a talk with Amy and Brad. “We need to get a move on with this FEDUP effort of ours. We seem to have run into a bit of a wall.” They couldn’t argue with that assessment. “How bout if we meet over at Jennie’s house tomorrow night? Bring Jon and see if we can get both sets of parents to join us too, they might have some good ideas.” Amy said. And so it was a date. Amy and Jennie spoke with their parents and as luck would have it they were free. Jon was busy, but said they could bring him up to date later.

Jennie and Amy sat at Jennie’s kitchen table, and both of their moms were sitting with them. None of the guys had made it yet, so they started without them. The discussion centered around when and how they would be spreading the word about FEDUP. “You know,” Edna said, “If you set it up so that the women are learning some moves that are not common, and you are careful not to spread those moves around, then using them would be a bigger surprise to an attacker. And maybe the focus of this program should be more along the lines of getting away, instead of fighting.” “What do you mean?” asked Amy. “well, I was just thinking that no matter what the moves are, a woman is just not as strong as a man. And when it comes to a fight, unless she is really lucky, she is not going to win a knock down drag out with a man.” The others considered this statement for a moment. Then Wanda said “You know, I think that you may be onto something here. I know you girls are getting really good at fighting, but Edna has a point. So, if we concentrate on moves that startle the attacker, or cause him to hesitate, then you would have time to either run or use one of those excellent strikes on him while he is still trying to recover.” “Let’s run it by the guys when they get here and see what they think” Amy said, “In the mean time, let’s see if we can come up with a way to get women to learn the things that we are learning.” “I would really like to see younger women, like high school age. They are more athletic and usually more reckless.” Said Edna “And learning something like this would help them settle down a little? Is that what you are saying mom?” Jennie teased. Smiling Edna continued “Young people are so sure that they are invincible that sometimes they don’t think before they act. And that can land them in hot water.” “This is true” agreed Amy “but it is not always something that they did that gets them hurt, sometimes they are just in the wrong place at the wrong time.” “Oh Amy!” exclaimed Edna “I am SO sorry! I did NOT mean that to come out as if I thought you had done something wrong! I have NEVER believed that ANY of that was your fault. NEVER!” She got up from her chair and hurried around the table to Amy, leaned over and gave her a great big hug. “Honey, you know how much you mean to us, I would never do anything to hurt you.” Amy let her hug her for a minute, then shrugged her shoulders and said “I didn’t really think you meant that I had asked to be attacked, but I think it will be super important to keep it in mind when we are talking to these ‘imaginary’ students of ours. We in no way want to make them think that they are responsible in that sort of situation.” “Of course we will” said Jennie.

There was an awkward pause and then the front door opened and Rich came in followed closely by Brad and Bob. “Look who I found skulking in the front yard” joked Rich “so I brought them in for you girls to pummel! That would teach them to skulk” Everyone laughed and the moment was gone. The women all breathed a little sigh of relief for the timely entrance of the men.

“Ok, so let’s get this meeting started” Rich said “It’s already started silly” quipped Jennie “when you guys didn’t show up we figured we needed to work without you. And mom came up with a really good point.” “What’s that? Edna? You’ve been holding out on me woman!” Rich couldn’t help teasing his wife as he dropped a light kiss on the top of her head. She shook her head and looking at the other women said “Someday I’m gonna Whomp that man!”

“All joking aside, what was your idea?” Brad asked. Edna quickly brought them up to speed on what they had been discussing, and the men agreed with that assessment. “I have worried about that part of this for a while now” admitted Brad “but I didn’t want to stop what we were doing, I was hoping that something would come along to help with it, and it did. Thanks Edna, I think you have come up with an extremely important point and have provided a viable solution.” “The girls were telling us about how you pretend to be an attacker Brad and they have to fight you off, I think that is a really great idea too.” Said Wanda enthusiastically. “I think that this will make it easier for them to believe that, in the unlikely event, someone tries to harm them, they will be able to do something.” “I really think that it is a great idea too” said Amy “I feel much more confident that I won’t freeze up is anything were to happen. I worry about hitting you though” she said looking at Brad “I wish there was some way we could put a football helmet or something on your head to protect you.” “And elbow pads too” piped up Jennie “I think it would really hurt to hit that face mask with my elbow!” Amy had to agree with that one, but she was more concerned with Brad getting hurt.

Amy had not said anything to her parents yet about what had happened between her and Brad, and she didn’t intend to anytime soon. She wanted to work on their friendship and that silly trust issue that she was having before she said anything to them. But her feeling for him made it even more important the he not get hurt. Especially by HER!

“Ok, so what I am hearing here is that we should make this more of an escape type of program as opposed to a fight situation. And we should try to find a way to train in a more realistic manner. Is that more or less the gist?” Asked Bob. “That about sums it up” said Amy looking at the others, who were nodding their heads in agreement.

The meeting continued for several hours, with all seven of them throwing out ideas and suggestions for ways to promote the new program. What they finally decided on as a start, was their church. “The way I see it” said Bob “is we should decide who is or are going to be the main person or persons to do the promoting, kinda like an advertising client.” He said “I think that the three of you” pointing at Amy, Brad and Jennie “need to spend as much time as possible perfecting your techniques and cementing your ideas so that once you start teaching you can act as a team.” Rich nodded yes to that and Bob continued “The rest of us need to start a campaign to inform the community that this service has become available. I think that starting at the church is a great idea. Who should be the ‘front man’?” They all looked at each other and then started laughing. “We make a fine bunch of executives, don’t we? Can’t even decide who is in charge!” laughed Wanda. Then she said thoughtfully “We really should be the ones to do this Edna. We will be promoting a self defense program for women, taught by women and it would seem pretty odd to have a man be the first contact.” “That makes sense” agreed Edna. “I think that we should talk to the minister first.” Said Edna “tell him why we are doing what we are doing and get his cooperation in ‘recruiting’ his parishioners.” They all agreed that this made sense to them too. “Great, then it’s agreed on, the ladies will go talk to Reverend Spears and the ‘fighters’ will keep on keeping on.” Rich said turning to the three youngest members of the meeting “I want to tell you three just how proud I am of you and of what you are doing. I don’t think I have ever had the occasion to see just how dedicated you could be to a project Jennie, and the three of you are putting so much time and effort into this that it is astonishing to me. I am honored to be able to assist you with this great project of yours.” The three of them were happy to hear the praise but it embarrassed them too, so they just mumbled a ‘thank you’ and looked down at the table.

Amy said that she thought they needed to write out some kind of lesson plan, something that they could refer to in order to ensure that they didn’t forget anything during a training session. “We also have to determine how long each session should be and how much we should teach in one session” agreed Brad. Jennie contributed the thought that they didn’t have any idea how long it would take to give someone the basics of what they had been working on. “One lesson? 10? How do we know?” asked Amy. “I don’t know” admitted Jennie turning to her mother. “Mom, would you be willing to be a kind of guinea pig for us?” Edna blinked in astonishment “ME?” “yes YOU” said Jennie. “Why should this training be reserved for teen agers? You have as much right to learn as anyone else and I think you would be great!” Amy vigorously nodded her agreement and said “I think that both of you should come down to the dojo and we can train you. You can be our first students and we can gauge how long it will take for these lessons and the best way to approach them. That was a great idea Jennie” Slowly Edna and Wanda wrapped their minds around this idea and it began to seem like a really good idea. “Ok I’ll do it!” said Wanda. “So will I” said Edna “I’m not sure how good I will be at this but if you are patient with me I’ll do my best.” The husbands were sitting there with slightly bemused expressions, this was an unexpected development. “Well, I guess that should be a warning to us old man” joked Rich to Bob “these two are really going to be able to put a whippin on us pretty soon!” Every one laughed with him and agreed that it was a great idea. As it was starting to get late they agreed to another meeting in a couple of days and called it a night.

As Amy was leaving with her folks, Jennie quipped “Watch out for that stalker, he might decide to follow you home tonight” Amy whipped around and stared open mouthed at her friend. “What do you mean?!” she exclaimed “how did you know? I mean, what are you talking about” she made herself calm down. How did Jennie know about her imagined follower? “I didn’t mean to scare you Amy. I was just joking about the guy that has been following me around lately.” There was a wild babble of voices at that statement.

“What do you mean someone is following you?”
“There is someone following you too?”
“Oh my gosh, why didn’t you say anything?”
“I don’t believe this, neither of you thought this was important enough to mention to any of us?”
“I thought I was being paranoid”
“I didn’t think he was a threat, just some kid with a crush or something”
“I’ve been trying to put him out of my mind?
“HOLD IT!!!” Brad yelled “Everyone hush for a minute and let’s get this sorted out. Jennie, you first How long has this been going on?” “Well, I’m not exactly sure, it seems to have been going on for a while now, a couple weeks I think. He isn’t really doing anything, just hanging in the background, like he is afraid to come too close.” She replied. “Amy? What about you?” “Pretty much the same thing, although I wasn’t sure at first that he was actually following me, I thought I was just being paranoid and so I didn’t want you of you to think I was losing it.” Brad was upset and didn’t try to hide it. “Is that why you were asking me to teach you those new moves? Didn’t you trust me enough to tell me why you wanted to learn them?” He asked a little heatedly. “It wasn’t a matter of me trusting you Brad, but of me trusting ME. I seriously didn’t think he was following me, I thought that I was just a little crazy, but just in case I wanted to be better prepared, and THAT is why I asked you to help me out” She told him, just a little bit defensively. Brad stood there looking at the two women with a puzzled expression on his face. “Didn’t either of you stop to think about the danger you were in? That these guys might actually be up to no good? And now we find out that you are BOTH being followed? Have you noticed whether you are being followed at the same time?” They couldn’t answer that one as they had not confided in each other and had no way of correlating the times. “Ok, this is what we are going to do” said Brad definitively “neither one of you is to go ANYWHERE by yourselves. You will either go together or call me and I will go with you.” Amy just stood looking at him like she had never seen him before. “What do you mean not go anywhere alone? Are you trying to tell us that we are not able to take care of ourselves? After all the training you have given us you want us to meekly hide behind your ‘Big muscles and brawn’?” The growing anger was quite evident in her voice and her stance “I don’t think that we are going to take orders from you Brad. If you want to help us find out what is going on that would be great, but you have no right to tell either of us what to do.” Jennie was nodding her head, but had a thoughtful look on her face. “Hey guys” she said “How bout if we set a trap for these two? Turn the tables on them.” Brad and Amy were still too upset to settle down, but Edna and Wanda did their best to calm Amy while the men walked Brad away a few steps and spoke quietly for a couple of minutes. “Here’s what I think we should do” said Jennie conspiratorially. “And it’s going to take ALL of us to accomplish it.”

Installment number 14 28,624

Amy found it almost impossible to fall asleep that night. She felt like a pendulum swinging from side to side. On the one side she was so excited it was all she could do not to squeeeal like a kid, and on the other side she was so close to being terrified that she wanted to climb under the bed and never come out. She was on a roller coaster of feelings and didn’t know how to slow it down, and wasn’t sure she WANTED to slow it down. She liked the good feelings, she loved that someone could still find her attractive and like her, even after what had happened to her. But, she was afraid of what might happen in the future, because of what had happened to her. She found that laying down and closing her eyes wasn’t the most intelligent thing she could do this night. There were a whole truck load of unwanted memories trying to force themselves to the forefront of her mind and she didn’t want them to come out. She wanted to lay her and just revel in the fact that A BOY LIKED HER! Ok, technically he was a ‘man’, not a ‘boy’, but she was feeling awfully young right now and boy was a safer word. Part of the trouble was that she didn’t know what was ‘normal’. Before the attack she had been pretty much just coasting thru life on the U.S.S. It’s All About Me. There were never any close connections with males, Bret was the first boy with whom she may have entered into a relationship with and that was blown out of the water pretty thoroughly and the ship sank so fast that it was almost explosive. Now she was at a loss, and she didn’t have anyone to talk to either. What would Jennie do if this were her? Would she be excited? Or scared? Or would she just tell him that it was all one sided and she just wanted to be friends. She didn’t feel really comfortable talking to Jennie about Brad because they were friends too, and she didn’t know if Jennie could be objective. She thought she could, but. It was too late in the evening to call her anyway, so even if she did decide to discuss it with Jennie it would have to wait til tomorrow. And tomorrow wasn’t when she couldn’t fall asleep, tonight was.

“Ok” she thought “lets try and look at this logically. You like Brad. You know he is a decent person. You know that he is trying to help make women safer. You know that he is someone that you should be able to trust. And you DO trust him, you would trust him with your life, wouldn’t you?” and that is when she realized that it wasn’t her life she was afraid of losing here, it was her heart.


All the way home Brad berated himself for moving too fast. He KNEW what she had been thru, maybe not the details, but he knew what kind of trauma she had suffered, so WHY did he have to be so stupid?!? He should have waited, he should have found a way to make sure that she really was healing and not just pushing the feelings down so that she wouldn’t have to deal with them. He was smart enough and intuitive enough to have seen the signs. And yet he had told her how he felt anyway. Amy needed professional help to make it thru this. She had told him early on that she had spoken with a psychiatrist while she was still in the hospital and his attitude was very offputting, and the things that he had said were not helping. When Brad thought of this man, the first man that should have been able to help Amy, and how he had just made it worse, he wanted to go punch him in the nose! Irrational thought, but there they were. He guessed that those feelings were caused by the fact that he liked her so much.
He wanted with all of his heart to help her heal and to hold her while she was doing so. He wanted to be the one that she turned to when she was scared, or lonely. He wanted to be the one to protect her from any harm that came her way. For crying out loud he wanted to be there to stop her from getting hurt in the first place. He wanted to rescue her. And he knew that he could not be that person. At least not yet.

So what he needed to do at this point was make sure that she understood that he was not going to put her on the spot again. He needed to tell her that they were friends and nothing was ever going to change that. He needed to explain to her that he was safe, and that she could relax with him, he would never knowingly hurt her. But first he had to find a way to get her to listen to him, and not run away.

It turned out to be a long night for both of them.

The next day Amy called Jennie and asked if they could get together before their training at the dojo. “I need to talk to you about something. I am totally out of my depth her and I need your help.” Amy told her. “Of course, want to meet for lunch up at the diner?” Jennie replied. “Ok, I’ll see there at 11?” “Sounds good.”
Amy was extremely nervous about talking to Jennie, none of the fears that she had had the night before had vanished and a few more had crept in when she wasn’t looking, but she knew she needed to talk about this with someone and Jennie was her best friend. After all, if you couldn’t trust your best friend then who COULD you trust.

Amy got there early and picked a booth at the back of the diner. She sat there sipping her diet coke and fidgeting while she waited. She wasn’t at all sure that this was the best idea she had ever had, but she was committed at this point, so no running away kiddo. Jennie was right on time, striding thru the front door of the diner on the dot of 11. She glanced around until she saw Amy, and smiled as she walked over to the booth. “Hey Girl! How ya doin?” She asked cheerily. Amy smiled back as she replied, “I’m fine this morning, and you? How goes it?” Jennie chuckled. “It goes, it goes. But I am about to die of curiosity! What the heck happened last night? What’s going on? You need to start talking girl!” Amy had to laugh at her friend. She had just taken a stress riddled encounter and turned it into a ‘girls night out’ situation. At that point she knew that it was going to be ok, that talking to Jennie was exactly what she needed to do right now. And so she did. They sat there talking for well over two hours. Amy told her friend about what Brad had said to her, and hesitantly related how she had reacted, waiting for Jennie to laugh at her or tell her she was being silly. But Jennie didn’t do that. She reached across the table and held Amy’s hand and said “Oh you poor thing!! I’m so sorry that happened that way, I was SO hoping that he was going to say something like that and it would be a Fabulous experience!” she chuckled a little ruefully, “I guess I dream big, huh?” Amy giggled at that. And then Jennie asked her “What are you going to do?” and Amy didn’t have an answer. “I guess I am going to walk in to the dojo and play it by ear.” Jennie waited for her to continue. “I think that I am going to have to be the one to take the first step here, I need to grab my courage with both hands and ask Brad to forgive me for my actions last night, or rather my RE-actions. I really treated him badly and I need to set that straight. I don’t think that I can have a ‘boyfriend’ yet. I don’t think I am ready for that, but if Brad can be my ‘friend’ I think that will be a great start.” Jennie nodded approvingly. “I think that you have a pretty good handle on this now” she said “And I’ll be there to help you if you need it.” Amy jumped up out of the booth and quickly went to the other side of the table and hugged her best friend. “Thank you Jennie, thank you for being my friend.”

Brad found that he was a tad bit nervous as he waited for the girls to come in for their training session. He was afraid that only Jennie would come, or if they both showed up that Amy would be super wary around him again, like she had been for that first week so long ago. He didn’t know how to make it easier for her, he didn’t think he could actually do anything to ease her discomfort at this point. So he just crossed his fingers and hoped for the best.

He heaved a huge sigh of relief when Jennie and Amy walked thru the door of the dojo a little while later. At least she had come back, that was a giant step in the right direction. And then he looked at her face and his heart dropped. It was tight and her expression was most definitely closed.

Amy was scared, she knew she had to do this, but was afraid that she had broken their friendship beyond repair. That she had hurt him to badly for him to forgive her. But, she took a deep breath and looked him in the eye “Brad, I think we need to talk, could we go in your office for a few minutes?” she said. He nodded, afraid of what was about to happen, and gestured her ahead of him. She entered first and waited while he shut the door. Then they just stood there looking at each other. Amy sighed and asked him to sit down. He walked around the desk and eased himself into the chair. She didn’t sit, she slowly paced back and forth in front of the desk. She stopped finally and turning to look at him she said “Brad, last night was” Brad interrupted her saying “Amy last night was such a screw up on my part, I am so sorry!” “Hush Brad, let me finish!” she said. “Last night was wonderful, and it was horrible!” Brad was a little puzzled by that, but took her literally and kept his big mouth shut. “I freaked when you told me that you were starting to care about me. I didn’t know that was going to happen. I hadn’t actually thought about having a man in my life since the attack, so I was totally unprepared for your statement. That was rather short sighted of me. I owe you a big apology.” “No ,you do” “BRAD hush!!” she startled him with her vehemence. “It is MY turn to talk, you can talk when I am done” “ok” he said meekly, all the while thinking, she would NEVER have done that even a Month ago! “I messed up, and I am sorry. I am not beating myself up about it anymore, tho. I think that there are going to be other times in my future where I am going to have a reaction to something and it will blind side me, just like this did. But I think that with your help, I’ll be able to handle them a little better. Brad, I don’t know if I can ever have a boyfriend but I would really love it if you could be my friend. Is that something we can do? Maybe someday it could be more, but I cannot promise anything” He just sat there, stunned by her revelation. She wasn’t mad at him, she didn’t want him to go away and leave her alone. She wanted to be his friend!! A slow smile spread across his face and he said “Amy, I will be your friend forever. Thank you for explaining, I know that was not easy, how scared you must have been when you came in here.” He suddenly laughed “I was so afraid that you were going to say you were leaving and I didn’t want that to happen. I want you to stick around for a long time.” Very slowly Amy walked around the desk and asked Brad to stand up. When he did she shyly reached out and gave him a little hug. He was careful not to do anything to spoil the moment, and as they left the office to begin the days training, he had his arm draped casually across her shoulders and smile a mile wide on his face.

Installment 13 26,427

Two nights later, the four of them met up at the dojo. It was time for Jon to see the new system close up and personal. He was a little excited, anyone would be, to be one of the first to see something new. These people were trusting him with their new baby, and he could feel the weight of that trust.

Amy and Jennie were in their gear and doing the stretching exercises that they did prior to working out. Even some of those were different than the ones that Jon had seen in the past. Next they started running over the moves, it looked almost like a dance, one of those synchronized dances that were all the rage these days. It looked strangely compelling, like he really needed to join in with them. Funny feeling, he thought.

The ladies started sparring. The punches and kicks looked pretty much the same to Jon. At least on the surface they did. As he watched, tho, he began to see subtle differences in the way they moved. Their punches were more from their core, with the lower body being used more than a man would use. He could see that those punches would pack some power. He was beginning to see just why they were so excited about this new system. It seemed quiet natural to them, not forced or strained. They were definitely comfortable with it, and felt confident in using it.

“All right” Jon said “I can see that this is a viable system. Now we need to figure out what we are going to do with it” The others just looked at him for a moment. “What do you mean?” asked Amy “We are going to teach it to all the women we can.” “Yeah” said Jennie and Brad together. “Ok, but, HOW are you going to do that? How are you going to convince women that they NEED this system? And how are you going to get them to come in long enough to see the difference from just your regular run of the mill self defense stuff?” Jon stood there, waiting for a reply. He didn’t get one right away. They had thought of this, of course, but had not really worked out the details yet. “I don’t know” said Brad “we hadn’t gotten that far yet. What do you think?” “I’m not sure, but I think I might want to talk to some of the female students over at my school. Some of those kids would really benefit from this sort of thing. But I don’t think they should all learn it. It could be a bit dangerous.” Let me talk to them and then we can search out other avenues.

They all agreed that this would be a good start. They really wanted to just go out there and teach, but what Jon said mad sense.

After Jon left, they sat around talking for a few minutes and then Brad stood up and offered to give them a ride home. They agreed, got their gear and filed out to the car. Normally Brad would drop Amy off first, then take Jennie home. But tonight, he turned that around. When the girls looked at him inquiringly he shrugged and said “I wanted to speak to Amy for a few minutes, I hope you don’t mind getting dropped off first Jennie.” “Of course not” Jennie said. Amy didn’t say anything at all. Her mind was racing. “What was going on here?” she thought “Why does he want to get me alone?” All the old fears and feelings started bubbling up from the well that she had thought she had capped. She didn’t want to say anything, and ruin everything. But her hands were sweating and she was having a hard time breathing. Jennie seemed to sense that Amy was having a hard time, because she reached over the back of the seat and took her hand. “Are you ok” she asked. “Of course I am” Amy replied with a forced smile. “Why would you think I wasn’t?” Jennie just squeezed her hand and got out of the car, allowing Amy to deal with this in her own way.

When the car was moving again, after dropping Jennie off, Amy cleared her throat a few times then said. “So, um Brad, what, I mean what did you want to talk about?” Brad didn’t answer right away, but drove slowly down the road without looking at her. After a couple minutes he pulled the car over and put it in park. He turned on the seat to face her and said “Amy, I like you. I like you a lot. I know that you went thru a lot when you were attacked and the last thing I want to do is cause you any more pain, but I felt it was not fair to either of us for me not to let you know” Amy pushed her shoulders back against her door just as hard as she could, almost like she could melt thru the door and escape this confrontation. She stared at him with wide eyes and did not answer him. “Amy, by ‘like’ I mean that I think I may be falling in love with you” Brad stated baldly. Amy flinched “I’m sorry” she whispered Her reaction puzzled him slightly, “What are you sorry for? You haven’t done anything” “I can’t.” she cried “I just can’t! Please Brad, don’t ask me to love you. I can’t do that”

He had known that she might have a little difficulty accepting that he cared for her, but he had not anticipated this reaction. This was almost an abject terror. Why was she so afraid of him? Of loving him? He didn’t understand. But what he did understand was that she truly WAS afraid, so afraid that she wanted to run, to escape, to get away FROM HIM! That hurt and he could feel himself getting angry, but he held it in check, if martial arts had taught him anything at all, it was to control his emotions no matter what.

“Shhh, it’s ok” he crooned, “I’m not going to hurt you Amy, I promise, I would never hurt you. Please Amy, listen I am not going to hurt you, ok? Really, it’s ok, shh” She was shaking her head from side to side and there were tears running freely down her face as she said “no” over and over. Then she covered her face with her hands and started to sob. Body wracking sobs that made Brad want to bundle her up in his arms and rock her until she was better. He reached out to touch her shoulder and she jumped violently and a small scream escaped from behind her hands. He jerked his hand back hastily and again started talking to her in that soothing voice. After a little while, neither of them had any idea how long they sat there, she slowly lowered her hands and sort of peeked over her fingers at him. And then she hic uped. It made her giggle, and he smiled. A smile of relief as much as humor. Amy took a deep breath and visibly relaxed her shoulders and lifted her head to look Brad full in the face. “Brad, I am sorry. I thought that I was ‘over’ all of that, but I guess I’m not. And I know that my reaction must have hurt you. I am sorry. I would never hurt you on purpose.” He was shaking his head, but she plowed on “No, please, just listen, ok? I thought I had put all those feelings of fear and hate and hurt away forever, but when you said that you” she hesitated and swallowed hard, then continued “when you said that you might be in love with me, everything just rushed screaming up to the top of my head and took over.” Brad was watching her intently, as if he would be able to SEE what she was trying so hard to explain. “One of the worst things about what happened to me was how much I came to hate myself. What I had become, and how I was behaving, like a beaten puppy.” She continued. “I didn’t realize that was what those feelings were until Jon said those things the other day, then it all made a kind of sense. I have been going about my life since that attack believing that I had done something to deserve what had happened to me. Like it was all my fault. As if I could have prevented it. I didn’t know how to handle any of that, but now I do. Thanks to you and Jennie, I have a tool to help me heal.” She paused and thought for a minute. Brad waited patiently, knowing that she needed to say these things, even if he didn’t want to hear them. “I have been using the work that we are doing as a means of hiding, of not really dealing with what is going on inside of me, instead of using it to help me heal. I think maybe I need to spend some time talking to someone like Jon, someone who can help me get a handle on these feelings and start living my life again.” She stated firmly. Brad started to say something, then stopped, he wasn’t sure just what to say, but he knew that if he didn’t speak up now, he would never get another chance. “Amy, I realize now that what I said threatened you and I am sorry. I didn’t mean to. What I wanted to do was let you know how I was feeling and try to see if we could start going in that direction. I do care very much about you and I want you to be completely over this before I lay any other troubles on you.”

Little by little Amy relaxed and moved away from the door. She unclenched her fists and sat up straighter on the seat. She was ashamed of how she had reacted. She didn’t want to feel that way and she certainly didn’t want to SHOW those reactions around this man. The man she was growing to trust. “Brad I like you too.” She said simply. Brad hesitantly held out his hand to her, and after looking at it for a very long time, Amy put her hand in his and gave it a little squeeze.

When Brad dropped her off, he waited for her to get in the house before he headed home. “Always the gentleman” Amy thought distractedly. Her head was reeling with thoughts and feelings and she was pretty confused about it all. She slowly walked up the stairs to her room, being really quiet because she didn’t want to disturb her parents. The last thing she needed right now was for them to see her face and get all upset because SHE was upset. As she undressed for her shower she thought about how Brad had been the perfect friend, how he had been so polite and friendly and stayed on his side of the line that she had drawn around herself. And she wondered when she had stopped being afraid that he was going to hurt her. As she was washing her hair she thought about how hard all this was going to be, and how awkward it might turn out. She needed time to think, to analyze what was happening. To face some things that she had been avoiding all these months. And the truth was, she didn’t want to do Any of those things. She wanted to jump up and down and laugh and spin around and dance and sing and tell the whole world that ‘A BOY LIKED HER!!!!’. How had THAT happened?

INstallment number 12 24,449

Wow, past the half way point - and I don't have have my words down yet lol but I just wanted to let you know that I am stoked that I have made it this far. I could actually finish this book tonight, end it right here and it will be a good ending. But I have 25,551 words to go to be a WINNER and I plan on Winning this year! lol So here is the next installment, I hope you enjoy it.


Brad and Jonathan Smith had been friends for years, ever since Brad had run thru a bout of depression and had reached out for help at the school he had been attending. It was really a school for martial arts students, but was not a dojo, it had a normal teacher, like a phys ed teacher, not a sensei. It was a school to teach the students how to do all the moves, but did not give any of the mental training that martial arts require. Jonathan had been working there pro bono as a favor to the teacher, some of the kids in this school were from broken homes or other circumstances that could cause them to have some issues and Jonathan was there to help them if needed. Brad was one of the ones that needed. After a while the two of them had discovered that they enjoyed each other’s company and seemed to just fit together as friends sometimes do, and that had progressed into a lasting friendship.
“W.H.A.P.?? That’s as good as you could do? Sad” “Ok, ok, I know that the name sucks!” exclaimed Brad “but it was the best we could come up with on such short notice.” “You really need to make it something pretty ear catching, something that people will remember and come back to.” Said Jonathan. “that is true” replied Brad “and we will, but first we need to get some people involved enough to make it start happening.” “Make WHAT start happening?” Jonathan asked.
The two men were sitting at a table in Ronald’s BBQ and Brad had just finished updating Jonathan on the news. The fact that the name didn’t resonate wasn’t much of a surprise to Brad. One of the things that he knew was needed was a brainstorming session to map out the basics of the program and that would include a name that would reach out to people. To the people who really needed it to reach.
Jonathans background in mental health was one of the reasons that Brad was running all of this by his friend. If there was a reason that this could cause more harm to someone who was already hurting, Brad wanted to stop it now. He had not discussed this with Amy or Jennie yet, he wanted to see where things fell first. And so, the two men sat talking quietly about W.H.A.P. (or whatever it was to become).
“Ok Jon, one of the reasons that we started this project was to help this one woman who had been brutally attacked about a year and a half ago. She was not managing too well after that, the healing didn’t seem to be happening for her. Her friend Jennie came in and talked to me about it. At first we were just going to try to help her by making her feel more in control. That is, after all, one of the more important things that people need in life.” Jon nodded at that “that is so true.” He said.
Brad went on “You know my passion for martial arts. After Jennie explained the whole thing to me I thought it would be a great idea, but I warned her that her friend had to make the first move. I could do nothing for her if she wasn’t interested.” Again Jon nodded. Brad continued explaining what he and Jennie had done to get Amy to come in and where it had gone after she did. “Then when we were done we realized that we had basically re-invented a self defense technique that could truly benefit women everywhere.” Jon’s eyebrows rose at that statement.
“yep, a totally new discipline, but we are not going to call it that.” Said Brad “You’re not?” questioned Jon. “Oh no, that would turn too many people away before they even gave it a chance. That’s the reason behind the acronym. To get their attention and make them want to know more.” Jon smiled slightly. “That sounds good, makes perfect sense to me. Tell me more about this and why you want me involved.” He said.
After Brad had finished his explanation he knew he had Jon hooked. The look on his face and the light in his eyes told him in no uncertain terms that they could count on him completely. It felt good, Brad realized. It felt good to know that someone with a background in helping people thought that what they were doing worth the doing.
And then Jon said something interesting. Something that none of them had thought of. “What if you offered this to the public? And only to women?” Brad just looked at his friend, not comprehending. “Well, part of what you want to accomplish is to help empower women. Not just women who have been in a traumatic situation, but all women, right?” Brad nodded assent. “Ok then, if you developed this a little further and marketed it to women as exclusively theirs, something men wouldn’t ever see. Something with some moves in there that would surprise any attacker stupid enough to try to hurt them…” he trailed off, deep in thought. Brad was astonished. He had not taken this experiment to that level. “Jon, I think we need to call a meeting of the board. And Soon.” Brad stated. “Board?” questioned Jon. “Yep the newly formed board of directors for the W.H.A.P. women’s self defense system!”
Early the following evening Brad, Jon, Amy and Jennie met at Jennie’s house to talk over the ideas the four of them were coming up with. Brad introduced his three friends to each other, almost laughing because he had never spoken to any of them about the other. Jon had not know of the women until last night and neither had he mentioned Jon to them. Proves just how focused they had been on this new program.
“Alrighty then, let’s get this meeting started, shall we?” Brad said, a bit self-consciously, never having chaired a meeting before. “What we are going to be doing tonight is ‘brainstorming’.” They all waited expectantly for him to continue. “I know you are all familiar with this term, but I would like to add one caveat to the standard definition…there should be no negativity in our sessions. When we throw out ideas or opinions, they need to be taken as is and worked with, not debated or argued. After we have our ideas all lined up, THEN we can discuss their merits, or not.” The other three nodded in agreement. “That sounds like a great idea” Amy said “it should help us to be more creative with our thoughts and ideas.”
“First, ladies, I want you to know that I spent some time with Jon last night going over our new program and what the three of us had invisioned for it.” Brad began, “He obviously thinks it’s a worthwhile endeavor, or he wouldn’t be here tonight.” They all grinned at that “I am sorry I didn’t talk to you two first, I was a little hesitant about jumping off the deep end with this until I got someone’s opinion other than ours. Someone who had not spent any time in the middle of the experiment, who might be able to give me an objective opinion. Jon has a background in the mental health field and so I thought that if he liked it, then we should be good to go.” Jon piped in then “I think it’s a wonderful idea, and as we will discuss in a few minutes, I think that you are all thinking on too small a scale.” And thus began a marathon meeting between four very determined young minds.
“The first thing that I want to contribute to this meeting” Jon said “is that none of what we are going to discuss in any way, reflects upon any events that have occurred in the past.” He turned to Amy “I know that you were attacked, I do not know the details, but I know that this attack is what precipitated this meeting. The fact that your friend wanted to help you led the three of you to come up with a program that has the potential to help hundreds of others. YOU were in no way to blame for what happened to you.” He paused to reach out his hand and gently take her hand in to it. “Amy, what you DID do was survive! You found a way to not only endure what they did to you, but you made up your mind that you wanted to live, and you MADE THAT HAPPEN!” Brad and Jennie were astonished that he would talk so openly about this, everyone knew that Amy was super sensitive and just didn’t talk about it! “You are the strongest person in this room” Jon continued, looking directly into Amy’s eyes “and you are the only one who has any idea what it feels like to be helpless, at someone else’s mercy, totally out of control of a situation. And THAT knowledge is what is going to make this program a success.” Silent tears were sliding down Amy’s cheeks by this point. “thank you” she whispered “thank you SO much” Amy raised her head and looked defiantly around the room. “He is right! I did NOT do anything wrong! All this time I have felt like I ASKED for this to happen to me, and I DID NOT!” she declared. Jennie jumped up from her chair and rushed around the table to embrace her friend “Oh Amy” she cried “I am so glad that you believe that! I never for even a second thought that you had done Anything to bring this on yourself. You are a victim and an amazing woman!” Brad simply hugged Amy and said a very quiet “I am so proud of you”
One of the things that they all agree on was that the name was not what they wanted. They needed something with punch, something that would get peoples attention and make them want to find out more. Their discussion went something like this:
STOP with the last three letters being "Their Own Power". can't think of an s though.
Standing on their own power
ONTOP again don't know what o or n stands for
I think I like the STOP one
STOP the violence.
nice.
STOP being a victim.
Stop Taking Our Power
STOP giving away your power
S.top T.aking O.ur P.ower
Female Adapted Defense F.A.D.
FeDuP Female Defensive Program
W.I.T.C.H. – Women In The ‘drats, that would have been a good one’
M.P.W.E.R. – come on, come on, this one would be great if we could just THINK of something
L.O.V.E. – Ladies Over Violence Everyday

“That one wasn’t too bad” Jennie said, “but I must admit that I like fed up best. What do you guys think?” “Fed up?” asked Brad “Female Defense Program – FeDuP” she replied. They all laughed at that one, they hadn’t read it that way but they all agreed that it was better than WHAP had been.

They also discussed the psychological advantages of confidence, and how it affected others. There were studies out that that indicated that someone who walks with confidence and is aware of what is going on around them, or situational awareness, is much less likely to be attacked. Brad said “You know, in karate there is a verbal component as well as the physical one. The voice is used as a method of reinforcing the moves. It also helps to lend power to the strikes and to intimidate the opponent.” Looking at Jon he asked “Do you think that we should incorporate some form of this?” “I don’t know, let me think about that, loud noises can cause people to flinch away, so maybe it would be a good idea.” Jennie thought that was a promising avenue to explore. “I remember as a child that whenever mom or dad yelled either at me or each other, I would always back away, as if the very action of backing up could keep me safer.” She reminisced. “Ok, we will see how that works with the rest of the program” replied Brad.
“So at this point we have several layers involved here.” Jon recited them
1. There are the physical differences between men and women, and our program will be taking advantage of the woman’s strengths.
2. There is the psychological aspect in which confidence and situational awareness play a part in preventing an attack.
3. Sound, loud sounds. As a starting place? If someone comes at you and you yell at them it might slow them down for a second, long enough for you to prepare to fight or even get away.
4. Breathing. In most martial arts they are taught to breath, and that way they have more stamina. This is not something that comes naturally to most people. Most folks hold their breath and that doesn’t help in the end.
“Is that it?”
Slowly the others nodded their heads, they knew they had just touched the tip of the ice berg, but at least they had touched it! How cool is THAT?
This process was taking up quite a bit of time and they decided that one meeting just wasn’t going to cut it. They made plans to meet the next day, same place, same time.
Jon said he would really like to watch the ladies spar. He wanted to see first hand how this program differed from current self defense programs. “Is that ok with you two? Will you be comfortable with me there?” He asked. “Oh sure” said Amy at the same time that Jennie was saying “No problem”. They arranged for him to meet them at the dojo two days from tonight.
After the guys left for the evening, Amy and Jennie remained at the table talking excitedly. “FEDUP??? Oh My Gosh that is just SSOO COOL!” Yelped Amy with astonishment. “This is just so much more exciting – and scary – then I ever thought possible” stated Jennie. This was really going to work! They hadn’t actually thought it would work out, only hoped, and prayed. .

Installment number 11 22083

that silly little widget over there doesn't seem to want to update, so please note that the correct word count is in the blog title. and I know that matters not in the least to most of you, but it does to me, so there you have it. lol

It didn’t seem like any time was passing at all, but it was suddenly the end of the month. That was how long the three had decided that the trial for the new method should take. If after 30 days Amy and Jennie didn’t feel that this new thing was going to work out for them, then it was agreed that they would go back to a tried and true discipline and just hang up the experiment. No matter how it turned out, none of them felt like it was a waste of time. All three of them had learned many things in that month. How to work together, how to work through plans and no matter the difficulty, how to voice their opinion to the other two without it sounding like an argument.

Jennie had learned that she was a natural. That she could pick up any move that Brad wanted her to learn in only a few tries. She completely enjoyed sparring and practicing the moves. They made her feel alive and were really working at keeping her in shape. She had learned that she could do pretty much anything that the guys could do, maybe not with the same amount of power, but she could do it. And she was fast! She was smaller than most of the guys in the dojo and so she moved faster. There were a few of them that liked sparring with the girls, they enjoyed it and also felt as if they were helping out with their training, and they all said pretty much the same thing after every match. How fast she was. This made her feel pretty good about herself and her abilities.

Brad had learned that not just guys could become great fighters. Jennie and Amy had shown him without a doubt that a motivated woman was awesome. And he had learned that he wasn’t just a teacher, he was also a student. No matter that a month ago he had thought that he knew everything he needed to know about teaching, now he knew that this wasn’t true. Amy and Jennie had proven to him that a teacher had to continue to learn or his teaching became stale and his ability to make a difference dwindled down to just about nothing. He was profoundly grateful to them for that lesson. He had needed it.

Amy was learning how to fight, but she was also learning how to trust again. She wasn’t aware of this at the time, but slowly she was starting to feel comfortable around Brad and the other guys in the dojo. It didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen. Little by little, night by night, punch by punch Amy was also learning to trust herself. She was not aware of the loss of that trust in herself until it was back. Then she realized that when she had been attacked she wasn’t just physically harmed, but those men had taken something precious from her, her trust in her own ability to protect herself. Most people are not even aware that they have that trust, until it is needed. In Amy’s case, she didn’t stand a chance against two grown men in a blitz attack, but at the time she didn’t know that. All she knew was that she was lost something. She had lost all of her confidence in herself and pretty much everyone else. And so she was afraid.

She tried to hide that fear because it made her feel vulnerable and because it made everyone around her uncomfortable. It worried her mom and dad. It was tearing her apart, that fear. But it had also come pretty close to immobilizing her, when you are afraid of everything and everyone how do you ever do anything at all?

Jennie, in her wonderful wisdom, had found a way to help Amy make it past this fear, and had chosen the perfect guy to help her. Brad was patient, calm, reassuring and surprisingly non-threatening for a karate expert. You would think that someone who taught people to fight for a living would be kinda scary to a victim, but for some reason Brad had just the opposite effect on Amy. She quickly became quite comfortable working with him and learning from him. She liked him as a sensei and as a budding friend. Sometimes after the end of the lessons, in the late evenings, the three would sit in Brads office sipping herbal tea and talk. They would talk about anything that came to mind, how they felt at that moment or what they wanted to do that weekend. They had decided early on that these times were for being together, not for brainstorming or working, but just a time to relax and get to know each other.

As Amy began feeling a little easier around her new friend, she started talking a bit, just a little, about what had happened to her. Something she had not done with anyone yet. Nothing too detailed or gruesome, but just little things, like how she was feeling as she floated in the ocean after she had escaped. Or how scared she was the entire time she was a captive. She told them the part about Rover and Bobby and made them both laugh with her rendition of the “person holding her down and breathing in her face.” They all knew how terrifying that had been, and the fact that she could relate it to them in a humorous manner showed just how far she had come. She was laughing again. Something that many thought was lost to her forever. She did not feel safe all the time, this was not a miracle cure, but she was starting to feel as if she could be whole again someday. Someday.

The work was very hard, they pretty much ended up at the dojo most nights now, trying to work out the moves that would be most efficient. Brad had never dreamed that he might be able to create a new fighting technique and to do so with these two wonderful women was a real bonus.

Now it was time to evaluate. Time to sit down and seriously look at the things they had worked out in the past 30 days. To be honest with themselves about the techniques and methods, if they would make a difference or not. This was their baby and they were so excited, but also had a bit of fear in there. The fear of failure. But they all knew by now that to not try would be the only failure. This was a success no matter what the outcome of the new method. It was a success because two women, one a victim and the other her best friend, were now better able to face life and to take care of themselves if something were to ever happen. It was a success because Amy was learning to live again. And because the three of them had found a friendship that was built to last, no matter what happened in the future, they had created something together and that would always be there.

The three of them sat at the desk in Brad’s office, each with a sheet of paper and a pencil in front of them. “Ok ladies, now it is crunch time.” Brad said “We need to draw a line down the center of this piece of paper and write at the top ‘pro’ and ‘con’.” The girls nodded. “In the ‘pro’ column please write down the individual things that you feel are good about this new program. And in the ‘con’ column write down the individual things that you feel are not good.” “I know that this will not be easy to do, since we have been the ones working on it from the beginning” he added “but we need to try. There is no one else we can turn to since we are the only ones who even know about it” he chuckled at that statement but soon sobered. After a moment there was silence in the room as they each thought about the moves and the techniques of this new fighting method. It was really not a true fighting discipline, but a method of self defense designed specifically with a woman in mind. The first of it’s kind and a total revolution, if it turned out to right. They needed a name for this new method. It couldn’t be called something that was already out there, it needed a new name, an original, something invented for this, just as it had been invented for women. “W.H.A.P. there ya go, very descriptive don’t you think?” asked Jennie “what the heck does THAT stand for?” laughed Amy. With a sly little smile Jennie said “Women Have All the Power” then she laughed. “No really” Brad said “We need a name that will make people notice it.” “Oh, they will notice that one Brad” Jennie retorted “but they may not notice it for the reason we want them to.” “Ok, maybe we can just call it WHAP until we come up with something better.” Amy said. But she couldn’t seem to stop smiling. That name really called to her, but the words that Jennie had chosen for the initials were just not going to cut it.

When they were done writing, the three of them laid the papers side by side on the desk to compare their lists. It was funny how alike they were. It made sense since the three of them had worked on it all along, but the same thoughts were on all three lists. Mostly the comments were positive. How it made the girls feel. How the moves were more natural to them and how they seemed to be easier than a traditional move might be. They decided that the pro’s greatly outweighed the con’s and so they had done it! They had created a radically different self defense discipline for women! They were so excited; they jumped up from the desk and started doing an impromptu dance around the office. High fives were exchanged and then Amy threw her arms around Brad’s neck and gave him a huge hug!

All movement stopped as soon as she realized what she had done. She froze. She didn’t know what to do. How had she dropped her guard so far? When did she begin to trust him enough to allow this to happen? He was a man after all, even if he Was a friend. And Amy didn’t trust men. She just knew she would never trust another man again in her life. But here she was, standing with her arms around the neck of a man. Slowly she disengaged from him, stepped back and looked at him. Really looked at him for the first time as an individual, not just her teacher or her co-creator. As a man, as a person, as a threat.

Installment number 10 20,249

I know that I am a little behind, 3 or 4 days actually, but I am trying really hard to catch up. Thanks again for your encouragement and patience. This is not turning out to be the 'great american novel' but it is turning out to be kinda fun lol


Jennie’s parents had taken the time to stop over and see Amy’s mom and dad. They wanted to explain to them how they felt about this course of study they were encouraging Jennie to get Amy involved in. Mr and Mrs Johnson were skeptical to begin with, but were willing to do just about anything if it would get Amy out of the house and back into the world. It took a little talking on the part of the Newtons to convince Bob and Wanda that Fighting would be the way out for their daughter. Violence had, after all, been the precipitating factor in her troubles. But when they explained how and why this would help her, they agreed to support her any way she needed. They were extremely grateful to Edna and Richard for their interest in the well being of their precious Amy, and they did not hesitate to tell them so. Edna said “If it had been Jennie that was in this sort of funk I would hope that her best friend, Amy, would take the trouble to try and make it better, and I know that you two would do anything you could to help her. It’s the least we can do since she IS the best friend of our only daughter!” Edna and Rich both laughed then and finally relaxed a little, as they had not been positive that the Johnson’s were going to go along with this, and they really thought it was the best course for Amy to take to start healing.

Jennie loaned Amy a gi and the next day she took her down to the dojo and introduced her to Brad. Amy was very skittish at first, but once Jennie showed her around and let her get the feel of the place, she seemed to settle down quite a bit. She didn’t know what Jennie and Brad wanted her to do, so she just stood there waiting. It was easier that way.

“Amy” Brad started “what Jennie and I are trying to do is create a self defense course that will work for women.” She nodded her head and waited for him to go on. “Karate and Judo and most other systems are geared primarily to men, with their upper body strength and body mass these moves work really well for them.” Again he paused, making sure that she was paying attention. “Women are built differently” Amy snorted, she couldn’t help herself. “Yes, I know, that sounds silly, but in the end it makes a lot of difference.” Amy tilted her head to the side inquireringly “Do you have any brothers?” he asked her. “No” she replied “I’m an only child. Why?” “Well, have you ever arm wrestled with a guy?” “Yea, a long time ago.” “Did you win?” Amy laughed, “No, not even close, almost as soon as we started he smacked my arm down. It was almost funny it was so fast.” “there – that is exactly what I am talking about Amy. The reason that he could do that is that he had more upper body strength then you did. If he had been wrestling a male then it probably would have lasted longer and been a bit harder for him to win, if her won at all.” Brad stated. “When we are talking about fighting, we are really talking about mostly punches and blocks, which are all upper body. Of course we do teach the guys to put their body behind their strikes, but with women it seems to work differently.” “strikes?” Amy asked. “Strikes are just another term for punches or hits.” He said. “You will get the terminology down soon enough, I can see you are smart and I expect that you are a fast learner.” Again Amy laughed “and how can you tell that?” “I can see it in your eyes, you have brains in there, and we just need to get to them and utilize them. This is not all about your body or how you fight, but also about your input. Your opinions about different moves and how they feel will be invaluable to this project.” She nodded her head and said “I will do my best Brad, this is starting to look like it could be interesting.”

Behind her Jennie clenched her fist and pumped it into the air. She was SO relieved that Amy was going to become active in this that she almost shouted her joy. She was grinning from ear to ear and had to turn away before Amy saw her and started asking questions. The answers might throw her right back into her funk and that was something that Jennie didn’t want to ever happen again.

The first thing that Brad taught Amy was how to stretch properly. “No matter what discipline you are participating in, you must stretch before and after every session.” Brad said. “If you don’t then you will end up with muscle and joint injuries that could be prevented. The most important thing here in the dojo is your safety. After that is learning the correct method for anything that we teach.” Amy saw the wisdom in this and nodded her head. So Brad and Jennie began by showing Amy some basic warm ups. A head roll was first. “Just slowly lean your head to the left and then to the back, on to the right then the front and once again to the left” Brad said “do this a few times in one direction, then reverse and go the other.” “Ok, now what I want you to do is relax your posture and start by shrugging your shoulders, then roll them to the back and down, then to the front and up. Continue this for about 5 or 6 rotations, the reverse the order.” Brad was very patient and an excellent teacher. Amy was not at all nervous about learning from him. He seemed like a really nice guy and like he really wanted this to work. After a while she even sorta stopped thinking about him as a male, and only thought of him as a teacher. For some reason that made it even easier. Amy didn’t want to dwell on that thought, she didn’t really want to pursue why she felt things, that was dangerous ground.

Next there were leg stretches and back stretches and arms and shoulders. It seemed to Amy as if Brad had a stretch for eery inch of the body. And by the time they were done, she could Feel every inch of her body. She was not as limber as she had been when she was on the swim team, but she was no slouch either.

Brad explained to Amy that he was going to start her off with some basic moves, a few blocks and a parry or two, just to make sure she had a good grounding in the art before he got too fancy.

This went on for a couple of weeks. Brad started drilling Amy on the moves that he had taught her. When he was sure that she had them down pat, he told her “Ok, tomorrow we will start to learn the ‘proper’ way to punch.” “Proper way?” she asked. “yup” he said “the way that Jennie and I worked out to maximize a woman’s physique” he nodded his head decisively. “You are an excellent student and you are leaning really fast, so we are ready to move on.”

By now Amy was so used to working with Brad that she was super relaxed around him and was really enjoying this new part of her life. Jennie was pretty much staying in the background during this initial phase of the training as Brad had suggested that he needed to concentrate on Amy in a way that was non threatening but close. Jennie had been keeping a pretty close eye on Amy, watching for any sign that this was too much or going to fast or anything negative, and aside from some stumbles at the very beginning, she seemed to be taking it all in stride. This made Jennie very happy. She could see already how good this was for her friend, and only hoped that it would get even better.

The next day, after her stretches, Amy found herself putting on sparring gloves and getting into a modified boxing stance in front of the heavy bag. She had never heard of a ‘heavy bag’ before coming in here, but after she saw it it made perfect sense. A heavy bag is a form of punching bag. It is about four feet high and as big around as you could hug and is usually suspended from the ceiling. It is ‘heavy’ so that when it is hit it gives some resistance to the person punching and has a bit more realistic feeling to it. So what Brad wanted to do with her now, was try out this new technique that he and Jennie had worked out.


He started her out just punching however it felt most natural. She discovered that it wasn’t as easy as they made it look in the movies. First off, she didn’t know you had to hold your thumb in a particular place or you would hurt yourself. Brad very gently took her hand and positioned her thumb firmly up against her fingers parallel to her knuckles and told her to always make sure that she did this or she could break her thumb. Next he explained about keeping your wrist straight. “Pretend you have an imaginary stick tied to your arm from your elbow down to your knuckles.” He told her “Make sure that it is tied on there tight and that you cannot bend your wrist at all.” He explained that if you put enough power into a punch and you let your wrist go limp then you risk breaking it or at least getting a serious strain. And when you are talking about using a particular discipline as a method of self defense then you certainly don’t want to defeat yourself before you even get going by breaking or straining parts of your body you can protect this easily. “I never would have thought of either of those things” Amy told him “I am so glad that Jennie talked me into this, I am learning so much and you make it so easy to learn” Brad ducked his head and Jennie could have sworn she saw a tinge of red creeping up his neck. “Oh ho!” Jennie thought “Is he falling for our pretty little broken birdie?” She hid her grin and went back to practicing her punches on her side of the room.