Who knew?

Who knew it would be this hard?

I was excited and scared, looking forward to the new stuff.  But the old stuff has such a hold on me, that it's almost impossible to let it go.

God knew.  He made sure I left.  He had His plan and I have to abide - no matter how hard.

I've done hard things before.  I've made it through all the things I should have laid down and given up over.  This is just another one of those things.

It wasn't real until today.  Now it's real.  I cannot go back again.  No matter what.

If there are things there that I need or want, too bad.  It's not mine anymore.  If there are things there that you need or want, too bad.  It's not yours anymore either. 

Storage unit is full to the brim and I still left so much behind....so many memories...so many mementos...so many things....and that's all they are - things. 

Oh, but it hurts....so bad...so many years of my life...so many happy memories and times...so many sad ones too. 

A therapist told Trav that bad memories can hold you to a place just as strongly as good ones...that it is the emotion that holds you prisoner, regardless of the reason behind it.  I guess that's true.

It's the home my parents build.  The home we came to when we left the service.  The home we brought Shane to when he was born.  The home we lived in and loved in and lost in.  All of our fur babies are buried on that property. 

So much love...so much pain...so much growth...so much life.

I know this is not the type of post you are used to seeing from me, but it needed to be said and I think you needed to hear it, too.  Thank you for your understanding as I deal with this new situation.  Love to you all.

Maiden Voyage!!!!

Well...we made our first trip in the camper.  Not far, just about 10 miles from the house.  Hopefully this is where we will be until the beginning of February.  We are eternally grateful to our wonderful friend for offering us this beautiful place to park our home until we get all our ducks in a row.  We could not ask for a better friend.  We appreciate our good friend Jay as well, for although we did not take him up on his offer, it was made with an open heart. Friends who are really family - We love you both!!! 

We couldn’t have done it today, without Althea and Jesse.  They were so helpful and encouraging.  Didn’t let us get/stay rattled no matter what happened.  Kept us on an even keel the whole time.  We are truly blessed to have family who can and do step up when we need them.  Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!!!!  And I want to mention the other part of the Wendell trio, Debi has been keeping tabs on us and making sure that we are doing ok and have what we need as the time got closer….even loaned us her van when we had to leave the truck to be detailed.  Family!  Where would we be without them?!

Waving Good bye

Now, the cats pitched a fit when we put them in the crate, first we had to get them out of their room…didn’t get the door locked soon enough, but finally settled down.  Annie is still at the house as we have no electric here, at this time, working on that issue – simple oversight on the part of my sweet Trav, he didn’t get with the owner/caretaker so didn’t know that there is a switch inside that needs to be thrown.

Only one thing fell and that was my craft room shelves, one side of the bracket just came right out of the wall, guess I’ll use anchors when I put it back up.  Other than that, non-eventful inside, so I guess we did a good job of putting everything up where it would stay put.  Two tension rods came free, but the items they were holding never moved, so they don’t count. Lol

As I sit here writing this, in the dark cuz no electricity, all I can really think about is how blessed we have been thru all of this.  Every deadline has been met and God has found ways to extent time when we needed it, every time.

On the road

our new front yard

This post is a little out of whack since I am still kinda stressed and seem to have acquired a migraine along the way – it is manageable, but don’t ask me to make any more decisions today – but I wanted to at least get it written while everything was still fresh in my mind.

our new yard

our new yard

Annie has been doing wonderful with her ‘camper training’.  Coming in and going out without any real issues.  She has it down.  She wasn’t totally comfortable with Jess and Althea this morning, but she didn’t freak out like last time, so that is a huge improvement.  She is a little confused about where she lives, but that will sort itself out now that the camper is not at the house.

The sale is tomorrow, and we are no where near done getting all the stuff out of the house.  But we are doing the very best that we can and that will have to do.  We are living in the camper, and that seems to be going okay.  Seeing as moving the camper pretty much took up the whole day, I didn’t get the laundry done like I had hoped, but that is minor in the grand scheme of things.  I am not unhappy with any of this at this point.  We are happy, we have a roof over our heads, we will be eating soon and we are safe…. who could ask for anything more?  Thank you, God!

Edit:  we have Power!!!  Thank you, Bobby, for going out of your way to make sure we were taken care of.

Critters

Why do I always have critter stories?

Well, we always have critters and for whatever reason, they seem to like this property/area.

This time it was a poor little 7 month old Pomsky that managed to escape her new owners as soon as they got home.  She had been hanging out around our place and the first time I saw her I mistook her for a coyote (after I got a good look at her I knew I was nuts, but at dawn it's hard to tell).  Why is this story important?  Well, because we had been working on getting OUR critters acclimated to the camper, which came to a screeching halt every time Chelsea (the pomsky) showed her pretty little face.  As well as all the people that were trying to catch her showing up all the time without warning and sending Annie into hyperdrive.  Then there were the two traps in the yard that smelled of different animals to Annie and she didn't like that and then there were two (yes 2) raccoons caught in one of them. 

We, of course, had to try to help with getting the little girl caught, which disrupted the schedule we had set for ourselves.  So we tried melatonin - made her a tad sleepy, but not enough soes we could catch her or even get close to her.  She wasn't afraid of us, just not going to let us touch her...little brat!    Then we attempted Ace, same thing, her metabolism must be Awesome!  We didn't get any closer either time.  But - I was feeding her first thing in the mornings for two days, two feedings of half a can each time.  As well as sitting on the porch and tossing kibble to her...so she was getting closer and more used to me and starting to trust that I would provide food...this was a good thing.  She had been free for two weeks by now and we were getting super anxious about leaving her here when we left - coyotes like little dogs. 

Charlotte - the neighbor helping the owners out - found a larger trap and they set it up complete with cardboard on the bottom so she wouldn't be stepping onto the wire bottom, and two bowls of food just past the trigger.  She wanted that food but would not go into the trap to get it, it sat there all night.  The next morning I put the first serving of her breakfast just inside the trap, on the cardboard, and Chelsea was right behind me, ready to eat.  I sat on the porch and watched her, she was stretched out as long as she could be to keep her back feet out of the trap and still eat the food, which was sliding further into the trap, thanks to the cardboard.  Then she was all the way in!!!  Eating and starting and eating and jumping and eating and finishing right before reaching the trigger!!! DANG IT!!!

I did not know how the trap worked, so I woke Trav to come help me and we put her second serving, consisting of half of what was left in the can, right into the bowl she had just finished in the same place, and the rest just past the trigger.  Went into the house and watched out the window as she went back for her second breakfast.  She was pretty skittish, but she knew I had put more food in there so she went in to get it - and when she finished that first bowl, she had to have just One More Bite - and SNAP!  We had her.  Safe at last!  I cried, I was so thankful to have her caught and she would be safe and cared for, like she should be.  She is back with her owner family and seems to be doing great and we are so thankful that it all ended well.

Now that that saga has concluded, it's back to getting Annie into the camper.  We made a ramp and stapled her rug onto it for traction and got her interested in some special kibble and actually managed to get her to walk up the ramp eating kibble out of my hand...didn't freak out til Trav started to go in and rocked the camper - she tried to come back out and we wouldn't let her - and then we spent some time inside with her and she was a bit scared but settled down pretty quick.   So we walked her back down the ramp - not as smooth as we would have liked, but still a positive experience, and went in the house. A little while later we tried again, didn't go as nicely, but once inside she was fine.  Coming out the second time was great, so we quit while we were ahead.  Tomorrow we will try again.

The cats were fine when we took them over, not happy, but not as stressed as we thought they might be.  The kitty litter/food area is done and when we take them over tomorrow they will be introduced to that and we will be ready to move on. 

We have a few more things to do and a couple of engagements before we are moved in completely - but things are back on track and we are finally making it work out


.

Tow vehicle Found!!!

Ok, so the second biggest part of our plan has been located and purchased.  A GIANT thank you to Drew Myhree of Myhree Motors for the hours you put in for us...locating just the perfect vehicle to use in our new adventure.


It is a 2004 Chevy Suburban...looks kinda "Men in Black"ish...it needs some internal remodeling - just like the camper did - to make it work for us...it is used....

But it is Beautiful!!!!

We are only two weeks away from living in the camper.  Still need to finish moving things in (aka finding places for all my junk)  and get all excess into storage.  Have only had the kitties in there once and it was not a big hit for them...that will start happening again tomorrow...I'll video Rosie, she is very vocal normally and Extreemly noisy in the camper  lol


My nerves are really getting involved in this now, please pray for me!!!!

Living room

Last post I listed a few things that still needed done....here is the update.

The living room is essentially done now....here are the before and after pics.

Before the removal.

$25 table from Goodwill, refinished (please ignore any clutter - work in progress)

Table and new recliners from one angle.

Recliners and refinished table from another angle.

The bedroom is finished (thanks Trav for fixing the trim)


We have the knob for the craft room - just need to install it.


Still no tow vehicle.


What can I say?  We are so very excited about this new journey, and are looking forward to visiting a few family members and exploring new places.

But we are about to go nuts waiting!!!  lol

well, maybe not quite as nuts as I thought.  lol

Getting stuff done

Doesn't seem like much is getting done, but little by little it is.

The craft room is basically done (just needs a knob)

The bedroom is done (just needs the trim replaced)

Got the dinette out today!

Got the jack knife couch out today!

Got the new/old table sanded and it its just awaiting the stain.

Will be picking up the recliners Thursday.

and I think that is all the structual type stuff we are doing at this time.

Sooooo,

now we have to start putting stuff in there and making it home.

What are we going to take with us and what is going in storage and what is staying behind?  

We don't know....sigh...but we are getting there.

Critters

We live in the woods.

Not the woods like most people imagine (at least not anymore), but the woods of N. Central Florida.  Kinda scrubby and now has a lot of people living out here.  There is a pasture behind us and we live on our own little 2.5 acre plot of nature.

Why am I telling you all of this, specially knowing we are leaving soon?  Because until the day we leave we will be having critter stories...

If you scroll back thru this blog, or search, you will find a couple few of them.

This one is new, and not too exciting, but still interesting...but I need to go back a few years to preface this one...

When we first got Annie, she was about 5 or 6 months old and Tug was gettin on up there in years.  They had a couple Alpha issues there at the beginning, one of which had to do with a rabbit.  Now Annie was, and still is, a bit ungainly...built weird I guess, Australian Cattle dogs seem to be a little longer than normal, but rather barrel shaped?  I don't know, just different.  Whatever it is, she sure doesn't look very fast or agile.  But she managed to chase down, catch and kill a rabbit one day - before she turned a year old!!!  Tug took that opportunity to 'explain' to her that He was Alpha....took him a while, and a bit of effort,  but he managed to growl her off that rabbit and took it away from her.  Mission accomplished.  No further tests of leadership ensued.  When we had to put Tug down, Annie started a little bit of Alpha stuff, but it settled pretty quickly...looking back on it now, I think the chasing cats when stressed thing was part of that and we just didn't recognize it...but I could be wrong.

The Great Mouse Killer

Fast forward to last night.

Sitting in the living room, watching tv and there is a bit of a commotion and then Annie jumps up and in a flash is across the room, growled the cat off and killed the mouse that Rosie had just caught!  Stood over her trophy like a champ.  We let her stand there for a couple minutes, just to see what was going to happen.  When nothing did, Trav took the corpse and disposed of it, and gave all concerned a victory treat.  After all, what they did was a good thing. 

Well, get up this morning, and start my coffee and Rosie is kinda interested in something under the stove...we watch for a few, no movement and figure she is just hyper because of the night before.  We don't hear or see anything and just go on about our morning.

About thirty minutes later we hear a commotion and some squeaking and Annie rushes into the kitchen and the squeaking stops as she proudly brings a mouse into the dining room and drops it.  Rosie caught it, Annie took it and poor Trav had to kill it and dispose of it.  Treats all around!!!  (not for Trav lol)

The highly valued mouse catcher

The cat is still on high alert, but we haven't seen, or hears,

any further signs of rodentia - and are hoping that is the lot of them.  But if it's not, I am confident that the expert team of critter catchers living with us will handle it in a professional and humane manner. 

Gotta love our babies - they earn their spot in our lives by more than their unconditional love. 

Oatmeal anyone?

So the last few days have been a tad difficult for me.  Friday I woke up with a migraine - and while I managed to keep in under control, it messed with the whole day.  Towards the end of the day I felt much better, but was exhausted, so decided to take a short nap.  I guess that was a mistake.  Woke up with no headache, but was a little dizzy.  This dizziness, or vertigo, has persisted for over two days now.  It eases up, but then I look down or tilt my head wrong, and it's back.  It's not as bad, but it is still lurking in the background.  sigh.  So why is this a problem?  Well, imagine living in a house that has three steps leading into it, with no sturdy hand rail to hold on to...it's a bit of an adventure to come in or out.  And then there is getting in and out of the camper...that's fun. 

It also causes one to be a little less attentive to other activities, as the main attention is staying upright and not wandering sideways like one is inebriated.  lol  how is this important, well...

opening a new canister of oatmeal this morning turned into one of those 'funny moments' that we will be referencing for years to come....why? because in my effort to stay upright and straight I wasn't paying attention to the opening mechanism of the canister and ended up with the lid in my hand and nothing else...the canister was on the floor, on it's side and over half of the oatmeal was spread artistically across my kitchen floor..... sigh again.

I am truly blessed in many ways...one of which is a husband with a keen sense of humor....he instantly started laughing and joking about how it happened and started cleaning it up...meanwhile I'm standing there in utter disbelief at this really really clutzy action.

So, How is Your week going??????

Craft room, before and after

are you ready for this?  I know I am so very pleased with it.

It is not one hundred percent finished (are craft rooms Ever done?) but it's a good start.

Thank you Trav for All the hard work you put into this project, it means the world to me!!!



Now look closely at this first pic...imagine, if you will, the concept of turning this into a craft room.

and then look at these and imagine, if you will, the happiness in my heart at the success of this transformation!!!!!

Missing in action

Missing in action...

with Action being the operative word.  We have been busy.  Doesn't mean we are getting a lot done tho  lol

We have finished the bed and gotten a mattress!  Still need to do the bedside tables, put them back I mean.

brand new memory foam bed!

The craft room is progressing.  Got the table (thank you Jesse) in there and discovered that the legs are in the way, so have to rethink that option.  But the pegboard is ready to go up and the paper holders are at the ready as well (thank you Althea).

framing the pegboard

table in and paper holders at the ready

 The template is made for the cat door into their room, now to install it.

We have been given a reprieve in terms of leaving...the sale is later than we originally thought, so we will have time to finish the reno as well as start getting the fur babies acclimated.  Thank you God!


We are now trying to figure out the logistics and waiting on the van to be found.


Hopefully my retirement and SS checks come in on time as we are not getting any richer at this point. :(


We are thankful for all the blessings in our lives right now and always, and are looking forward to the day we start this new journey.  Thank you all for your prayers and help and concern and love.  It means the world to us!

Working on the Camper

Working on the camper

We are tearing stuff apart and figuring out how to do the things we wanted to do.  Trav is good at the figuring out part and I do a lot of the grunt work. 

We tore the bunk out today and discovered that the bottom bunk, the one that covers the outside storage will work better for us if we leave it there and make my craft room on top of it…that way the cats will have their own room.  You know, for their litter box and food bowl, and they can be serviced thru the outside storage door.  We are formulating a new plan for the craft area that I think will work out even better than the one we had originally devised.  I am starting to get a little more excited about this now…there will even be a place to hang the paper holder!!!!!

 

Flying out

Flying out

It’s going to be a long day.

But well worth it.

Leaving Gainesville at 6 am means arriving at the airport around 4:30 – 5:00

Arriving in St. Louis at 10:21

Buses leave airport for lodge at 12:45

Trip to lodge usually takes about 2 hours

Again, Long, Long Day

Won't be posting until I get back, hope you miss me! lol

Spouses

Getting ready for Spouses.

I have done absolutely nothing to get ready for Spouses this year.  Nothing…too many other things going on.  Proves I really need to go, doesn’t it?

What is Spouses? You ask?  It is a retreat specifically designed to help the spouses of Fallen LEOs relax, connect and recharge.  Heal.  Help each other.  Make new friends.  Build a support system.  Feel less along. 

It is a weekend of crying and laughing.  Loving and hugging.  Playing and healing. 

It is like nothing else I have ever been a part of.

I am blessed.