If you know me at all, then you know that I am a Law
Enforcement Surviving spouse. On July 30th,
1988 my husband, David, was shot and killed while responding to a call. He killed his assailant before succumbing to
his wound. This all happened in the wee
hours of the morning, in a little bitty town of about 3000 people. If you are interested in the details, there
is a book that Trav and I wrote that is available on Amazon, but this is not
about that, so why am I going over this again.?
Well, this post is about an organization that helps survivors – well,
survive.
That organization is Concerns of Police Survivors – COPS. www.concernsofpolicesurvivors.org. COPS
was founded in 1984 by some police wives who saw that there was a need. A widow from their department was not doing
well and they realized that there was nothing in place to give her the support
she needed. Her and all the other
survivors out there at the time.
Since that time there have been hundreds upon hundreds of
survivors who have benefited from this organization. It took a long, long time for me to become
involved with them. There are several
reasons for this, none of which matter to this post. Just know that I am now active in my chapter
and am helping others make it thru the unrelenting pain that comes with the
death of someone they love.
We are, actually, on our way right now to the monthly
chapter meeting. Our guest speaker
tonight will be Sheriff Bobby Schultz of Gilchrist County. I am looking forward to hearing him speak
again. I have heard him several times
before and he is always uplifting and positive.
He is a very spiritual man and it’s nice to listen to someone who is
unashamed of his faith and God. That has
become a tad rare lately, I fear.
Our chapter is considered one of the best in the county – it
has had excellent leadership since it’s inception 20 years ago. I am so proud to be a member of Northeast
Florida COPS. The awesome survivors who
founded our chapter are still here, helping others every day. Thank you, Charles, Janis, Mary, Vickie,
Johnny and all the others who have spent years making NEFL COPS so great. We are in the process of training some new
leaders as most of ours are getting up there in years (70s, and 80s). My friend Holly Reed (surviving spouse of
Chad Reed, Dixie County So) is our new Regional Trustee, and I am a trustee for our chapter and this
has helped me to learn new ways to interact with other survivors in a positive
and uplifting way.
Back in 1989 my mom and I went to National Police Week in
Washington DC to honor David’s sacrifice.
Last year I went back for the first time since that visit and was
overwhelmed by the differences, mostly how many MORE survivors were there…and
amazed to see how little had actually changed.
The purpose of the event and the support and love shown were the
same. To me that is amazing. As huge as it is – the love is still
there. Thanks to both the awesome
National COPS staff, and to the giving hearts of survivors who have stepped up
to help each other. It is overwhelming
and heartbreaking and amazing. I went
back this year in a ‘working’ capacity, as we had a number of new survivors
going for the first time. I think my
main role this year was to just hold hands and listen when needed. That is so difficult sometimes, as we
naturally want to tell our story at every opportunity, but that is not my role,
so I learned to listen and keep my trap shut.
I also found that I am pretty good at reminding new survivors that
laughing and enjoying the life they have is still allowed and perfectly
fine. Yes, we are grieving our loved
ones, but we are not dead. We will learn
to live our lives again, not just survive our tragedy. That is a huge lesson. One it took me many years and a very special
man to learn. I am so blessed.
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