Friday, September 13, 2019

C.O.P.S.


If you know me at all, then you know that I am a Law Enforcement Surviving spouse.  On July 30th, 1988 my husband, David, was shot and killed while responding to a call.  He killed his assailant before succumbing to his wound.  This all happened in the wee hours of the morning, in a little bitty town of about 3000 people.  If you are interested in the details, there is a book that Trav and I wrote that is available on Amazon, but this is not about that, so why am I going over this again.?  Well, this post is about an organization that helps survivors – well, survive. 

That organization is Concerns of Police Survivors – COPS.  www.concernsofpolicesurvivors.org.    COPS was founded in 1984 by some police wives who saw that there was a need.  A widow from their department was not doing well and they realized that there was nothing in place to give her the support she needed.  Her and all the other survivors out there at the time. 

Since that time there have been hundreds upon hundreds of survivors who have benefited from this organization.  It took a long, long time for me to become involved with them.  There are several reasons for this, none of which matter to this post.  Just know that I am now active in my chapter and am helping others make it thru the unrelenting pain that comes with the death of someone they love.

We are, actually, on our way right now to the monthly chapter meeting.  Our guest speaker tonight will be Sheriff Bobby Schultz of Gilchrist County.  I am looking forward to hearing him speak again.  I have heard him several times before and he is always uplifting and positive.  He is a very spiritual man and it’s nice to listen to someone who is unashamed of his faith and God.  That has become a tad rare lately, I fear. 

Our chapter is considered one of the best in the county – it has had excellent leadership since it’s inception 20 years ago.  I am so proud to be a member of Northeast Florida COPS.  The awesome survivors who founded our chapter are still here, helping others every day.  Thank you, Charles, Janis, Mary, Vickie, Johnny and all the others who have spent years making NEFL COPS so great.  We are in the process of training some new leaders as most of ours are getting up there in years (70s, and 80s).  My friend Holly Reed (surviving spouse of Chad Reed, Dixie County So) is our new Regional Trustee,  and I am a trustee for our chapter and this has helped me to learn new ways to interact with other survivors in a positive and uplifting way.

Back in 1989 my mom and I went to National Police Week in Washington DC to honor David’s sacrifice.  Last year I went back for the first time since that visit and was overwhelmed by the differences, mostly how many MORE survivors were there…and amazed to see how little had actually changed.  The purpose of the event and the support and love shown were the same.  To me that is amazing.  As huge as it is – the love is still there.  Thanks to both the awesome National COPS staff, and to the giving hearts of survivors who have stepped up to help each other.  It is overwhelming and heartbreaking and amazing.  I went back this year in a ‘working’ capacity, as we had a number of new survivors going for the first time.  I think my main role this year was to just hold hands and listen when needed.  That is so difficult sometimes, as we naturally want to tell our story at every opportunity, but that is not my role, so I learned to listen and keep my trap shut.  I also found that I am pretty good at reminding new survivors that laughing and enjoying the life they have is still allowed and perfectly fine.  Yes, we are grieving our loved ones, but we are not dead.  We will learn to live our lives again, not just survive our tragedy.  That is a huge lesson.  One it took me many years and a very special man to learn.  I am so blessed.






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